Post-Storm Realizations or Obrigada, Brazil

The shroud of this summer thunderstorm finally lifted off Washington, revealing a glowing, golden day. It pours in through my skylights, and turns my blue bedroom into a quiet morning beach, inviting me to come play in the ocean. I jump out of bed and put on my bathing suit, and pack myself up for a day out at Tryst café. Best to get myself out early before I get caught in the compelling fantasies of my Park Road abode.

The sidewalks are bustling with life, like a curfew was just lifted. Smiling runners with spring in the step; minivans of contractors unloading themselves, happily busy again; dogwalkers being tugged by packs of desperate dogs. I pass communities of mushrooms that have sprouted up over night, and piles of shrapnel, tree limbs and debris left by nature’s war. Little after-showers rain down on me, from the waterlogged canopy above. I’m pretty happy to be alive.

As I’m bouncing along in my tevas, I recall last night’s CBODN (Chesapeake Bay Organizational Development Network) meeting, and our discussion on an ‘Appreciative Stance in OD Consulting.’ After 2 hours of sharing and presentation, the bottom line message, from Don Klein, a guru of the field, was this: Don’t take yourself too seriously. I liked it. I still do. It was worth my $55 fee, and I got a Quizos sub and oatmeal cookie too. But like all good advice, it’s so simple, it’s impossible. He says the less serious you are, the more vulnerable you are, and the less you have to work to preserve your ‘scrim.’ He used that word, and described it as a set in the theatre, a façade, imaginary scenery that changes depending on how the lights shine. So if it’s imaginary, why bother trying to preserve it?

It all made sense to me. I know I have been one to take myself too seriously in the past. Look at these credentials: SeeChange president, homeowner, investor, first-born protector of the family, responsible citizen, informed liberal, caring friend and lover, always vigilant mountain lion. (That’s how my life coach characterized me during my sessions with her last year, and I hate to admit she was right on.)

But I feel a little different now. Yes, I’m still paying my mortgage, and cleaning my gutters, calling my mom to check-in, and keeping up with the geo-political state of affairs, taking classes, meditating, and always improving myself. But something’s different after Brazil. So I started thinking, after last night's sub and discussion. Maybe Brazil destroyed my scrim – put my white Anglo ass out in the searing tropical sun and burned me. Exposed my most basic self – the girl without words, without family and friends close by, without a job, without a routine, without walls, without a palm pilot, without George Bush to yell at or anyone to hear me. But I still had something left – me. Wide-eyed, curious, caring, diligent, loving, and even hopeful, underneath the well-formed layer of angst. I’m still me; but I’m not trying so hard to be me anymore. Ahhh.

Obrigada, Brasil!

Re-Adjusting to Life on PlanetDC

It was hard to leave my new home on PlanetBrazil – the tropical light and warm sea, people greeting you with kisses and hugs (beijos e abracos), Portugues conversations that were beginning to make sense, ripe papaya with honey for breakfast, and spicy samba for dinner...But it sure is great being back on PlanetDC!

My fresh eyes are noticing so many things, marveling at this place like a stranger from the third world - the clean empty streets, dogs on leashes, babies in strollers, English conversations with smiling waiters, a sea of green shade trees, bowls of coffee and birdbaths of margarita, 22 flavors of tea, 33 brands of vodka, 44 loan offers in my stack of mail. The choices, possibilities, and opportunities here are endless. This is the real difference between the two planets. Despite the abundance and beauty of a third world country like Brazil (the NE in particular), the sense of possibility is missing. People are stuck, either because they have not been infused with that American sense of ‘anything is possible, pull yourself up from your bootstraps, just do it, be all you can be.’ Or simply, they have no money, no wheels, no capacity to escape.

Yes, I’m feeling lucky today, and pretty optimistic. Maybe that’s one reason you travel – to appreciate what you already have. And I certainly appreciate the shift in the political climate since I left six months ago. What happened? It’s feeling much more hopeful in Washington these days for the ‘home team.’ I did my best on Planet Brazil trying to forget about the situation, but the liberal Brazilians had a way of reminding me, with their sincere inquiries: How did Estados Unidos manage to vote Georgie Boosh into office TWICE? The answer that seemed to get the most nods of quasi-understanding was that, since voting is not mandatory in the US, really only one-fourth of Americans voted for him. Somehow this response didn’t seem like enough to justify a war in Iraq, an oil crisis, unjust immigration policies, Hurricane Katrina, etc, etc, etc. But it was the best I could do. Anyway, I’m rambling, already transitioning into my Inside-the-Beltway speak. Forget Portugues, I’ve got this other language to re-adjust to.

What else will I be adjusting to in my transition back to life on PlanetDC? Here’s the initial list I’ve come up with, of things I’m leaving behind (at least for a while), and other things I am letting back into my life again…

Out/PlanetBrazil --> Back In/PlanetDC

Hot percussion --> Cool guitars
3 cold showers a day --> Central AC
Made in Brazil --> Made in China
Being anonymous --> Being ignored
Crowded computer banks --> Hip wi-fi cafes
Vendors cluttering the sidewalk --> Strollers cluttering the sidewalk
Cafezihnos (little espressos) --> Bowls of decaf
Retro Barry White --> Retro Tom Petty
Cloudless skies --> Smokeless bars
Ipod-full of American music --> Ipod-full of Brazilian music
Musical conversations --> Political conversations
Fuck-me sandals --> Keen’s
Big butts --> Big boobs
Speaking in dreams --> Speaking in realities
Exotic fruits on the trees --> Exotic gays on the streets
Friendliness --> Privacy
TVs everywhere --> Laptops everywhere
Spontaneity --> “Pencil me in”
Tapioca (manioc pancakes filled with butter and cheese)--> Bagels (with cream cheese)
Coco water (straight from the cocunut)--> Smart Water
Caiperinhas (name your cachaca)--> Vodka Tonics (name your vodka)
$2 manicures at Beleza Maries --> Biting my nails
Singing in Bars --> Networking in Bars
Piexe Electrico (Electric Fish) --> Louriol Plaza
Bompreco --> Walmart (just kidding)
Dancing at Mr. Caipeira --> Dancing at the Surf Club
“Vamos imbora” --> “Let’s go”
SPF-40 --> Claritin
1-motorcycle families --> 2-SUV families

Aside from adjusting to these changes (some welcomed, others not), I’ll also have to get over not having a house to live in or car to drive or job to go to, and find meaning and connection again in my own hometown. So this afternoon, I’m hanging out with the hip and wired and unemployed at Tryst café. And wouldn’t you know it, they’re playing a mix of bossa novas and sambas, some Tom Jobim and Gilberto Gil, just when I am trying to kill my saudades (missing) and forget about Planet Brazil. Well, maybe it’s not about forgetting. Maybe it’s about integrating. Seeing things from a new perspective, and taking the best from both planets. Great, they just switched the CD to Duke Ellington. I’ve been missing the Duke.